


If Things Had Been Different

by easypename



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-31
Updated: 2012-08-31
Packaged: 2017-11-13 05:51:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/500195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/easypename/pseuds/easypename
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel has been working with Crowley and now it is too late to turn back. Dean feels betrayed and hurt especially since he loves Castiel in a way he has never done before. If things had been different, if the whole of their reality had been different, could they have had a happier ending?</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Things Had Been Different

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a Tumblr post and its tags (which I cannot find). This story takes place in the later episodes of season 6. And goes pretty AU but still somewhat pertains to the original plot. I guess.

<p>“Dean. I wish things had been different.”</p>

<p>“It could be if you would just stop being a fucking dick and not open the door to purgatory.”</p>

<p>Castiel turned away and looked out through the window of Bobby's house. It was dark and they hadn't turned on the light. They could only see each other through the eerie moonlight.</p>

<p>“It's not just that. I wish... everything had been different.”</p>

<p>Dean silently stared at the angel. How many times had he wished for that himself? If everything was different, there would have been no purgatory or hell or... heaven. Of course, then Dean wouldn't have met Cas. And that was pretty much the best thing that had come out of this whole mess.</p>

<p>At least until now.</p>

<p>“Yeah.” Dean agreed silently. The silence hung in the air like thick smoke. If Dean could persuade Cas out of this, he would. Anything he'd have to say, he'd say it. But Cas seemed very set on this. He could be more stubborn than Sam and Bobby combined. And they were pretty darn stubborn.</p>

<p>The thing was, Dean could have just walked away, this awkward silence and all. Cas was too far gone to save. He would have figured out something else with Sam. But Cas was... sort of his closest friend. He was technically family. After all that, since the day he pulled Dean out from the pit, Dean couldn't simply throw his cards down and fold.</p>

<p>But the truth was, there was nothing left to say between them.</p>

<p>Full of unrealized, unspoken words, sure. But Dean was caught up in this post-apocalyptic era to start worrying about his feelings <em>now</em>. Every bad or uncomfortable feeling was stashed deep inside his mind with the memories of hell.</p>

<p>Dean never gave those passing thoughts and feelings the light of day. If anything, they would bring more complications to his already complex life. He wasn't strong enough to handle all of that. He wasn't strong enough to handle <em>any</em> of that. And right now, frozen to the spot, Dean was gazing at Castiel's back for maybe two quiet minutes.</p>

<p>Without a warning, or even turning back to face Dean, Castiel disappeared.</p>

<p>Dean took a half step forward, feeling the empty air with his hand. It just hung there for a while until he decided he needed a drink. He took a bottle out of the fridge then slumped against the closed door.</p>

<p>He felt lost. Maybe Castiel was just as lost as he is. Misled and misunderstood, with good intentions. But in the end, he was making crap decisions and that needs to be stopped. The final deal, the outcome—that's what really counts, isn't it? How many monsters will slip out of that door and ravage the planet? That's what Cas is planning on doing, with none other than the king of hell himself.</p>

<p>He also felt betrayed. He trusted in Castiel, even when Sam and Bobby had their doubts (rightfully too). He gave Cas so many chances to turn around, to forget this deal with the demon. Dean believed in his angel. And—maybe it was just Dean's hopeful thinking but—he had thought that Cas loved him in a way only Cas could love such a broken man. He thought he was right up there, after God himself.</p>

<p>If only everything had been different.</p>

<p>Dean finished his last drops of beer and let the bottle roll on the floor. He squinted at the was the bottle made a little circle in the center of the floor. But it was getting hazy, making the bottle look all wonky. He knew he wasn't drunk. Then what?</p>

<p>The floor seemed to crumble and sink as the walls melted away into pure white. Dean didn't even have a chance to question this in his head until everything he knew was wiped out.</p>

<p>And then he woke up.</p>

<p>He was squinting in the white light.</p>

<p>And he knew just who was doing that.</p>

<p>“Mom, I <em>told</em> you not to come into my room!” Dean threw his sheets over his face.</p>

<p>“You were supposed to wake up an hour ago, Dean.” His mom sighed. “Hurry and wash up. You already missed breakfast.”</p>

<p>Dean inwardly groaned. This meant he had to start his junior year without enough food or sleep. That was complete bullcrap. Maybe he should cut.</p>

<p>“Really, Dean. Get up before you make your brother late.”</p>

<p>“Okay, yeah, fine.”</p>

<p> </p>

<p>And so he started his normal day as if he'd already done this thousands of time before.</p>


End file.
